Friends vs Jackals

"What does a friend do when you are in need? Tries to help. Right? Ok, so what does a friend do when you try to understand? He helps you and guides you through his feelings. What does a friend do when you try to be kind? He is grateful for your kindness even if he does not say anything about it."
I have a bad habit, even when I do not need to apologize or lets say act in an apologetic manner, I tend to fall prey to my kindness. It is bad that kindness is perceived as weakness. And you get hurt. Because these people, so called friends with souls of jackals, think that they deserve your kindness, think that they are right. Ok, here is the good point. This is a litmus test for your friends. Some are your real friends. Some are fake with a jackal soul. And in the end, one has to move on with his life and should not lose the gentle touch with his friends. But it is always good to know the jackals.

To a jackal I have met last night...

Fitting

Looking back at my life, one can find lots of success stories: Good schools, a nice career, good friends, lots of lovers... Choose your forte! When I try to look at my past, I only see how I can not belong. Not that it is a bad thing but I do not. If you ask others, they will witness that i have been nice, easy going or down to earth. These are words that sound extremely well until you try to really understand what they really mean. They sometimes mean that you go with the flock and you do not have the heart to change your path. Ohh, I know those people fit very well. That is what they do: They fit. And seemingly I fit. Because I always knew that I was a misfit and I sort of made an expertise out of fitting and keeping myself fit. But it is just an illusion. OK, I started by complaining that I can not fit and then i made it look good. It is a spin. It is not true. Misfits may come from all points in the spectrum:
Take Eleanor Roosevelt or Adolf Hitler. And most of the time, they have the power to transform the society in a way they belong. This may be good or bad. What about those who do not have the power to change the surroundings? I ,for one, am such a misfit. Then they find other misfits and surround themselves with them.

Then the question is: " Where have all good misfits gone?"

Nice one

"Some believe you get change by demanding it. Some believe you get it by hoping for it. I believe you get it by working hard." by Hillary Clinton. It was told at a debate in Iowa. And it sounds so compelling. I think these means to get more out of life and change, are not separable. (Though, Edwards seems to be demanding one, Obama is hope and Hillary work? Am I wrong?) You can not bring change without working hard, demanding or hoping. What starts the cycle is mostly hoping. You gotta believe in your dreams and keep the hope alive. When you commence to work for the change, you also get the right to demand. And here it is: Hope-Work-Demand. They are intermingled. Though, I assume she tried to differ on style. I agree. I also emphasize working part a lot. That is a matter of character. Lately, I understood the hope factor. You have to keep it alive. And you should stand head up demanding too. I think next step for me is to demand in life.

Movies

I love movies. When I was a little boy, I would just expect my parents' best friend to rent one and I would later pay a visit to them. And watch them again and again. Today, a good movie is something I can not miss. The best thing is to have a friend and watch the movie together. Thus, you do not miss the passion you share. Talk about it and see what different or similar reflections the movie had on you. Isn't that the best part of good art !? Tonight, I will hopefully go and watch "Golden Compass" with a friend. I may even share the review and passion if any:)

Thanks to Maryam Namazie's blog

Makwan Moloudzadeh is executed

Another crime by the fascist Islamic regime in Iran:

The news has just reached us. Makwan was executed last night (local time) in Dizel Abad Prison in the city of Kermanshah. Makwan's family have just collected his body and are on their way to the city of Paveh. Around 200 cars are following in procession the car carrying the body of a youngster murdered in cold blood by a bunch of criminal thugs.

This crime must be recorded in history. Not only that the criminals in power in Iran must be indicted through international courts. Makwan had not committed any crime. He was executed for a sexual relation with a class mate when they were both 13. He was executed for homosexuality.

The International Committee Against Executions, along with several human rights organisations, including Amnesty International, launched a campaign to save Makwan. As a result of these actions, the head of the judiciary, Shahroudi, was forced to call for a review of the case, saying that the death sentence was incorrect.

According to our information, the local authorities in Paveh and Kermanshah were insistent that the death sentence should be carried out. One of the officials is reported to have said the city 'Paveh's youth have become too cheeky; we should execute one so that it may be a lesson to others'.

The Islamic regime executed young Makwan because it wanted to create a climate of fear. The prison authorities even said to the family of Makwan that they had been good enough not to execute him publicly.

Since the announcement of the news of Makwan's execution at the hands of Islamic hangmen, a wave of sympathy and solidarity has swept the city.

The International Committee Against Executions strongly condemns this savage and despicable crime by the Islamic Republic, and calls on the people of Paveh and Kermanshah to extend their sympathies and support to Makwan's family.

Our Committee will pursue this crime through international bodies so that the murderers may be prosecuted.

International Committee Against Executions
5 December 2007

I want to see the sun

Some people can not stand the life without beer, some without sex and some without anger and bitterness. As I come out of age, I see that I can not live without freedom. Does it sound cliche? Not when it comes out of my mouth, I have witnessed so many crusts in the form of human beings that lost their say in their life. What happens someone gives up their freedom? I can only imagine. Empathy stops there. It may be mean boss mopping you at work or a violent husband. Or it may be state or may be the society. It started here in Turkey. My aunt who had cancer did wear headscarf when she lost hair. ıt was a woman thing. Now that she recovered she tries to put it aside. And what happens? Society, friends, the conservative mob out of box thanks to the government, puts the headscarf on her head. Yeah, she lives in conservative southeastern part of Turkey. My mother was trembling when she told me about it. (And she lives in our tolerant city of izmir on the west coast!) She is afraid. I am afraid. We should be afraid. Otherwise we will call ourselves fools in a few years. Look what happens in Iran: the pic above

Soundtrack of a Monday

Tired Of Sleeping

Oh Mom, the dreams are not so bad
It's just that there's so much to do
And I'm tired of sleeping

Oh Mom, the old man is telling me something
His eyes are wide and his mouth is thin
And I just can't hear what he's saying

Oh Mom, I wonder when I'll be waking
It's just that there's so much to do
And I'm tired of sleeping

Oh Mom, the kids are playing in pennies
They're up to their knees in money
In the dirt of the churchyard steps

Oh Mom, that man he ripped out his lining
He tore out a piece of his body
To show us his "clean quilted heart"

Oh Mom, I wonder when I'll be waking
It's just that there's so much to do
And I'm tired of sleeping

Oh Mom, the bird on the string is hanging
Her bones are twisting and dancing
She's fighting for her small life

Oh Mom, I wonder when I'll be waking
It's just that there's so much to do
And I'm tired of sleeping
SV

Love???

"I think every body feels romantic sometimes. Maybe romantic is not the right word, maybe it is alone, maybe sentimental... just that during the last week, i felt really sentimental. I was not exactly feeling down. Actually feeling blue had nothing to do with this. It all started with a tv series: heroes. When one of the actors said "I know that you can heal but i do not want to see hurt" to his girlfriend, it was at that moment that some strings got pulled. Is it the drive to be loved? Or is the wish to be unique or special? Why can not I be enough? Why do I need someone else? Getting yourself hurt, putting your trust into someone else??? All danger, all unreliable. Why can not I get the fulfillment without anybody. I do not know the reason or truth but I know this is the fact. Anyway, one should admit it when one sees it. I do need someone else. "

Is this the way to look at love? Then, the person you loved will not be the one you wanted. You just have the drive to fall in love and it could have been anyone. Anyway, I am not sure about the right or wrong and I think it is one characteristic of "love", you are never sure of anything.

Such slogans of opression everywhere

Lack of Voice

It was early morning. As usual I got into a cab. Joking and having fun with little things in the morning is a usual ceremony for me. But this morning suddenly, almost out of blue I noticed it. These cab drivers usually listen to a radio station where people from different walks of life call and comment on mostly football. And I usually watch through the window thinking and daydreaming while waiting the day ahead. This time I listened to the radio station. Boy was it amazing or not! These people no matter what they say, use the same language. A harsh language that lacks understanding, with a childish manner. Like a little boy! They are all so excited and can not find the words to communicate. They all have the same attitude even if they are on the opposite sides of the issue. They repeat the same cliches like "We need to stand together!", "We have Turkish blood", "Don't be a traitor!" . This was the language taught by the fascist military rule and it has been repeated during the last 25 years. And now these old supposedly adult men use this language like little boys afraid of their own voice. It is so pitiful! A nation that lacks her voice. I can not even get angry with them, just pity at them and at this nation.

Soundtrack

I do not know how it started or when. But I know that I usually have songs that company my daily mundane. OK, I know it is weird. Especially to declare this personal truth on a web site where everybody can reach. But please go on reading please...(And at the background, Ofra haza sings Yerushalayim Shel Zahav with all the inviting pain drops.) Though, the soundtrack life helps me a lot. It makes life easier much more easier with the fun it provides. Imagine watching a boring ugly overbearing man that you have to listen to. I mostly do not listen to these people. I just pretend while they are singing songs from Madonna.

And in time my instincts proved me right when I trusted in these songs. Every person in my life has a song now. And they got these songs mostly at the very first time I met them. It is like their smell.

Anyway, this is my first blog and I just wanted to let you know that the poem you see on the right is my song. That is why it is here. If you want to know how I smell :) , just read this poem. It is a good start.